I have been contemplating death a lot in the past six weeks. Intellectually, I know that anything can happen at any minute, and that life, including my own, is unimaginably fragile. It still surprises me though, when someone I love is suddenly, violently, irrevocably gone. Last week, an old friend of mine was killed in a hit and run accident crossing the street outside of a bar. Gone.
I can’t wrap my mind around his absence, even though I have not seen nor spoken to him in months. I spent so much time, sang so many songs, shared so many bottles, baked so many pies, and laughed at so many jokes with him. I have so many memories of both throw-away moments and major life changes that I either experienced with him or that I could talk about with him. He was never judgmental or malicious. He was enthusiastic and funny. He was going to be a Spanish teacher. And now there’s a hole in the universe where he should be.
I have a tendency to filter my experiences through pop culture I consume. I have been meaning to write a post about Six Feet Under (SFU) and how its treatment of death has shaped my attitude towards life. This seems like an appropriate time. SFU was the most honest look at how people deal with mortality I have ever seen. The title of the finale alone, articulated what I imagine the end to be like: Everyone’s Waiting. Below, in no particular order, are my favorite moments involving music from one of the greatest serials television ever offered.
We have to live to honor the dead, and we have to learn to live with all the trappings of being physical, ephemeral beings. Somewhere, though, is the energy that makes us work. My limited understanding of physics reminds me that energy can’t be created nor destroyed, it just changes. Nate, I know you’re in all these places, always.
