The Burning (1981)
Rather than write a full-out review, I decided to list my reactions to this film as they appeared.
Ah, camp. Where kids go to be slaughtered.
Ugh. What disgusting examples of youth from the 1980s.
Wait, who sleeps next to a full gas can?
If only that janitor had remembered to stop, drop, and roll, this whole movie could have been over by now..
What kind of a hospital is this?
Ew. Everyone in this movie is gross.
Hey, what did that hooker ever do to you?
Wait. George Costanza!? Yes, it’s him.
Hey, Holly Hunter. Cool
Those are some fancy killin’ tools, yo.
I really hope he doesn’t kill the person named “Tiger.”
Hey, they built a raft. How resourceful. Nothing will go wrong no--yikes, ouch.
Holy crap. You don’t see that everyday.
This killer is certainly efficient. If I were that skilled with gardening shears, my landscaping would look amazing.
Um, did you just wander onto the set for My Bloody Valentine?
Fire bad; axe...also bad.
Huh. No final girl, per se, just a final sniveling pervert. Interesting.
Whew, both Tiger and George Costanza are safe.
So, to sum it up, The Burning is...just alright. It could be required viewing for the special effects done by my secret husband, gore maestro Tom Savini. The editing is interesting, and some shots are indeed scary, if only for the cheap, jumping-out-at-you scares. Also, props to screenwriters Peter Lawrence and Bob Weinstein for naming their killer after the decades-old campfire take Cropsy.
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